Well, i rest my fucking case.
Have i been conditionned to hate, to envy, or is it just the genes or is it just me, the fuck-up-
Was it nature or nurture?
So easy. To accept defeat. To bow.
To try and be a better man.
A noble one. A kind one.
Yet, the hate burns, the envy desttroys like a wildfire. Nothing left but ambers of existence.
In your punishing arms and under the crack and snap of leather, i could be whole again.
I could be a better man, a noble man, a kind man.
Take me in.
Show me how to love.
Show me true pain.
And bury me deep,
until my mouth remains still.
EDT: (if i want to be completely honest, and what is honesty, i dunno, never did, i lack basic concepts and one of them is perseverence and patience and faith, so honesty is just an item in the long long list of defects and deficiencu\ies, and you have to excuse me for my weaknesses, and you have to be patient with me, and i to myself, because truly this blog was also an attempt, an exercise, to see if i could become a better character, and stop giving in to every stupid impulse and stop giving up in the face of the smallest obstacle, and to stop taking it out on myself.)