Saturday, 24 July 2010


Last night I dreamt that I could dream.
I dreamt that I could breathe.
I dreamt these words.

(I found it written on the back of my arm with a red marker - blood, I thought.)

Last night I prayed that I could pray.
I prayed that i'd have faith.
I prayed for these words.


  1. This is beautiful. Even in pain there is beauty. Pain is a sign of the struggle and that is beautiful. You have a rare gift to be able to express your beauty thus.

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  3. Steppenwolf,
    again, sorry for before. I've never been taught manners, or i tend to forget them. Sometimes i feel like a sociopath with not knowing how to behave in certain social conditions and don't really know the regular rules to regular human communication.(this should go on my profile,too, i guess)
    In pain there is beauty
    and in pain there is learning
    and in pain they say there is growing
    and i personally don't know any other beauty than pain,and maybe ugliness. Twisted, no?
    All my love

  4. Killer Luka,
    removed posts worry me and make me sad and ready to apologize or go and hide under a rawk because i feel like i did sth i shouldn't have done or i said sth i shouldn't have said.

    So sorry, if, yeah?

  5. Dogboy,

    you can only feel pain if there wasn't pain before, don't forget that. And beauty comes through a persons eye, it's not inherent in the world. If you see pain beautifully, then you see existence like that too. Evry scond we are dying, a long drawn out death. That is kind of painful. Tragedy just doesn't exist if the word is not beautiful.

    Hope you're well and great to see you posting again. i think I owe you a comment over at mine... Shane. X

  6. ...if the world is not beautiful

  7. Dogboy

    I believe that pain is essential, you have to know pain to understand and welcome its absence.

    A life completely free of pain would barely be a life at all, just that brief moment between states of non-existence that I spoke of.


  8. Shane,
    I'm not sure i know real pain and what real pain really is, and i'm not sure i know real beauty and what real beauty really is,

    but i'm hoping to one day find out, perhaps through here, or through writing.

    Your post made me think and this is the great thing about posting something, the conversation that might ensue, so thank you. take your time in replying, i'm the one who feels i owe you a lot.

    Loads of love

  9. Malcolm,
    a funny and i guess masochistic thing:i've never been able to welcome the abscence of pain. If nothing else, iits abscense makes me crazier and wilder and more desperate.
    One could say i'm a damned being.I mean, I could say that.
    For someone who's trying not to exist, the idea of non-existence kinda freaks me out, though.
    Love to uou, man